That Whole Life Thing….

So here I sit on my back patio, taking a break before I continue on some work things that I have to take care of. The 4th of July weekend (now in its second consecutive week) was busy with people booking, cancelling, last minute bookings…. Six dogs in a neighborhood that puts on a more hectic light show than the Strip and Fremont Street combined makes for a crazy evening.

The dog business has gone well. I share my blogs on social, so I don’t want to get too “dog-centric” here. The business is getting there. Slow start, my first customer conned me, having to rewrite rules and constantly meet people…. It’s getting there. The client base is getting more in line of what I’m looking for after a rough start, but it’s alright.

It is funny, though: I still get “Why all this” questions when I say that I started this line of work. I’ve thought about it, and “Why” exactly. There’s the want of independence, not sitting in an office, not having to delay ideas that I think are good and should be captured in their immediacy. Acting’s been slow. While I reported to a production and director, I was still able to find my own sense of independent purpose in that, and even if I didn’t like a production, it was over in a few days, and the pay was worth any slight inconvenience. There are other reasons, of course….

Have you seen the news lately?

It’s hard not to get caught up in the flood of seemingly endless bad news: Brexit. Shootings. Police brutality. Religious conflicts. The whole political climate this year (I choose to be party to “Team Cryogenically Freezing Myself For 4 Years, and Perhaps 8, Depending On How Things Go”). Even personal irritants from the current heatwave, overly “patriotic” neighbors presently blasting their sound system, paid Strip parking…. Tragedy, irritants, tragedy.

In retrospect, it makes more sense as to why I’d want to surround myself with animals all day long. Among the worst I deal with in that is picking up extra poo in the backyard.

There’s a reason why I rarely touch into subjects of politics or religion, criminal injustices, police cruelty, opinions on what you believe in, what you look like, or who you can love, and so on. I absolutely do have opinions, and I’ll discuss things when asked, but for the people that think I’m interesting enough to follow, I try to provide a “safe space” where everyone can come together and get along if they so choose. Believe me, a few of my opinions would be unpopular among some (because a lot of the stuff that happens out there is just outrageous and unjust bullshit), but why irritate people in my splinter of the digital domain when there are so many other online resources that can be easily found to do just that? Then again, the fact that I’m not posting “hate” against a specific person, affiliation, or belief should be a clear enough stance on where my beliefs lie.

I can be divisive. I can rage against things that I can’t fix. I can post things that uphold my beliefs. But I do remember that people think differently from me, have different backgrounds and struggles, and while I don’t always agree or even like it, these are people that I’ve called mentors and friends over the years. Why would I “invite” people into an area that may make them feel stupid, judged, or unwelcome? How many times can the same opinion piece be posted repeatedly without coming off as “No really, I ‘get it’ on how you feel” (unless it’s three weeks worth of fireworks – That struggle is real)?

Maybe that’s why I post about dogs and video game stuff. I don’t need everything in my life to be “complicated”. I don’t need hourly news recaps. I’d like life updates. And I need a break sometimes. It’s not that I don’t care. I care too much about things going on, and that’s my problem. I hurt when my friends hurt.

The weeks leading up to, and in presently being my own business has given me a lot of time to think. I’ve largely led a “charmed” life with all the experiences I’ve sought out and been exposed to, and for that, I’m lucky and grateful. But it always hasn’t been easy. Or happy. I try to share that as well, because as much as I love one of a kind moments, I can still be a dumbass that manages to slam his finger in a door.

I really didn’t have a point with this post after all, but a morning where I can disconnect on a porch working with a bunch of dogs around me is a willful disconnect that validates my own decisions on how I choose to face my days.

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