Submarines and Horror Shows.

October was a little more subdued with the sheer number of hours I was working at Freakling. Playing a severed head day after day for the entire month really took a lot of free time out of my schedule. On the plus side, I did come into the Museum every morning with traces of fake blood and dark eye makeup, so that kept my kids quieter on the tour circuit.

"They tried to kill me!"

“They tried to kill me!”

But I had to do something before committing myself to nearly three weeks of non-stop horror: Porn Star Karaoke.

It’s true! This marvelous little discovery was found during a sandwich run, in which the neighboring bar had a sign for Mondays being karaoke night. But with folks from the adult film industry. I wasn’t sure what to expect, despite the bar not being really any different from the hundreds of other bars dotted about Las Vegas. I almost felt like I was about to walk into the “Star Wars Cantina”, but it wasn’t bad. What was surreal is that one of the bartenders recognized me. Walking up to buy a drink and being met with a “You’re Guy Chapman, aren’t you” certainly wasn’t expected, but I have gained a bit of notoriety for my misadventures.

But porn stars off their jobs (and off their “jobs”. Hey-O!) are actually very friendly, social people. Sure, they’ll drop their shirt to flash their tits during a conversation as normally as one would pause or clear their throat, but they were all very nice. Not to mention some of them have a pretty decent singing voice.

I sang Michael Jackson’s “Rock With You”, which caused those porn stars to actually drop their jaws at my singing voice. I do a pretty accurate MJ during singing, though my voice was a little trashed at the time, and more 75-80% what I can do. But one does not know accolades until they have been cheered on by a room full of porn stars. Sarah Jane sang “I Touch Myself”, and really played it up. As one of my newer friends, I find her endearingly funny due to her penchant for random misadventures like mine. Out of all the new friends I had made lately, she was one of the most fun.

The beginning of "The Sarah Jane Adventures".

The beginning of “The Sarah Jane Adventures”.

The other weird moment was this odd looking old dude sitting in a corner alone playing with his iPad the whole time, and then coming up on stage to sing a Backstreet Boys song. Er…. Creepy.

Meanwhile, I worked on a film called Eden where I played a human trafficker driving around in this creepy white van with a cage in the back that totally screamed “Rapemobile”. The most fun was driving around this HOA complex for take after take while this old lady was freaking out screaming “What are you driving around in circles for?!” It started getting funnier every time I did it. I was supposed to do two days on set, but the one time it rains here, and throws off the schedule. At least I got one day, though.

And just before my “free time” countdown went to zero, I got cast on a film in San Diego called Phantom.

Not a yellow submarine.

Not a yellow submarine.

I had to play a Russian officer from the 1970′s while being filmed inside a decommissioned submarine.

It's cramped in there.

It’s cramped in there.

We shot in the Gaslamp District area, by the Star of India. They have a Soviet B-39 submarine there at the side museum, and while the first day I didn’t do any set time (though they did serve fresh sushi for lunch), they cut my hair (which not only do you get a free haircut, you get paid for altering your physical appearance), and mostly just at around. After the shoot, I went over to my friends Brooke and Carlos’ place, and crashed.

The second day was much better. I finally got my very own action/stunt scene. I got to fire a gun loaded with blanks at a would be assailant, and kill him in my very own scene. This was the first real action scene I’ve ever shot in a movie, so I just really have to hope that it doesn’t get cut out.

Officer on deck!

Officer on deck!

And then the haunt started in full.

Moustaches before showtime.

Moustaches before showtime.

And somewhere, Halloween happened.

The new yard addition.

The new yard addition.

The year's pumpkin.

The year’s pumpkin.