San Diego and Star Trek.

The month started with me driving to San Diego. The Hollows was ready for pick-up, and it gave me a chance to see Tim and Amy again.

The Cantors and I.

The Cantors and I.

The inscription.

The inscription.

The painting, however, was too big for my car, so I had to get it shipped to Las Vegas. So in the meantime, I had a lovely chat with my friends, and did something that I definitely can’t do in Vegas.

Go to the beach.

Casino beaches don't count.

Casino beaches don’t count.

Getting home, I absoltely had to attend the Star Trek convention at the Hilton. With The Experience going away, I wanted to get in all of those last few moments. I mean, where else could you order ribs and have them set on fire? Not enough places. Just… not enough places.

But it was fun. I met a few celebrities, such as Brent Spiner (Data):

He was selling a CD, you know.

He was selling a CD, you know.

And while not part of the theme, Peter Mayhew (Chewbacca):

I suggest a new strategy: Let the Wookiee win.

I suggest a new strategy: Let the Wookiee win.

Candidly, Peter is a lovely fellow. I met him some years back during the premiere of The Phantom Menace (a whole story in itself), and later had dinner with him and a few other of the actors from the Star Wars saga. He actually remembered me from the event in Dallas, and we had a nice chat catching up on that.

As for the rest of the event, I got to meet The Experience cast out of costume during a semi-closed event:

Tom and I.

Tom and I.

Tom played the older Klingon that walked around the restaurant.

General Motog.

General Motog.

After that, was a gaming convention where a friend of mine was working, so I got toe meet up with my friend Steve and his wife Kelly.

Classic Steve grimace #47.

Classic Steve grimace #47.

And of course, we had a Warp Core Breach.

So... much... rum....

So… much… rum….

Not to mention the usual hanging out with friends:

More of the old days.

More of the old days.

The final part of the month, however, wasn’t quite as simple. It seems my propensity for unusual moments was about to kck into full swing yet again.

I wanted to try out for a stage version of Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. I know the songs, and I can do almost all the lines in the voices. It’s one of my favorite all time movies, so when a chance came up to get involved, I wanted to try out. After all, I can sing, I can act, and I can be funny, especially with the “fun” characters.

So I watched the movie again today, and studied up on Lefou, brushing up on the “Gaston” song and captured all the flustered mannerisms. I practiced a monologue of Cogsworth, since he doesn’t sing as much as the others, and studied all of his snooty pretentiousness, and practiced his high-pitched British voice. I felt good. I was hitting the notes. I was ready to go.

So I went in early, and did “Gaston”. Felt pretty good. Hit all the notes. The voice wasn’t as close as I wanted it to be that time, but it was credible. I’m also a very harsh critic on my own work. They asked me to come back in an hour for more of the audition. Essentially Round 2. I felt good.

So I came back, and this is pretty much where any chance I had of surviving went down akin to an apocalyptic meteor planet destroying crash. Dancing. Again, I’m not a bad dancer by any means, but you aren’t going to see me kicking my legs over my head, and doing crazy foot twitters while leaping in the air. I don’t do ballet. Nothing against it, but it’s simply not in my background. I checked the flyer again when I got home. NO indication of what happened next.

A very fancy dance instructor came out, and wanted to teach us a few dance moves. Okay, fine. I was doing fine, and then it was announced that these were not moves for Beauty and the Beast. He was teaching us one of the harder routines from A Chorus Line. One of the hardcore musicals about musicals. Basically, the dancers all strive to be the best of the best in the show. See where this is going?

I might have been able to learn it past one or two times, but at that point, he deemed us all ready, and kicked into full production mode. I hadn’t learned it. I had no idea still how to do these moves, much less a full routine. The confused look of a few people around me conveyed that they were wondering the same things as I was. And the only thought going through my mind as I leapt, spun, snapped, and kicked is: “Why the fuck are they making us learn the dance routines from A Chrous Line if we’re auditioning for a completely different play?”

It’s like teaching someone poker, then putting them in front of a crap’s table. It’s like taking your teenage son out for their first driving lesson by putting them behind the wheel of a stock car and releasing them on the Indy 500. I’ve never seen A Chorus Line, so I was completely lost. Two quick run-throughs was not enough. And then of course, they stick us out there with two partners to go full speed with no help. I did six moves, then none, two more, then none, and then the final step. I’ve never seen the stage version of Beauty and the Beast, but I’m still calling “bullshit” if someone tries to tell me Belle or Lumiere are going to be doing “jazz hands” and high kicks over their head.

Needless to say, despite my final little “hop” at the end, I didn’t get the part, and walked away wondering what exactly just happened.